Many people find themselves wanting to have less sex, while others want more. Or you might find your libido doesn’t change at all. Everyone is different.
Sexual health is an important part your wellbeing, but remember that there is no one-size-fits-all standard for sexual desire. A high or low libido is only a problem if it causes you distress or is impacting your relationship.
As your oestrogen levels decrease, you might notice changes to your libido and how you feel about sex. The sexual changes you experience can be physical, mental, and emotional.
Lower oestrogen means your vagina isn’t creating as much natural lubrication, and the walls of your vagina are getting thinner. This can make intimacy uncomfortable or painful, and in some cases, it can cause light bleeding during penetrative sex. Topical oestrogen treatments, applied inside your vagina, help relieve these symptoms. You can also use lube during sex to make it more comfortable.
Remember, hormones don’t just impact your body physically. Other symptoms of perimenopause like anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances also impact how you feel about sex. A lot of the time, when these mental and emotional issues are caused by perimenopause, they respond better to hormone therapy than to traditional antidepressants. Learn more about menopause hormone therapy.
Your mental health affects your sexual desire. Hormonal changes caused by perimenopause can affect your mental health, but sometimes, there are other factors involved.
Most people experience the stages of menopause during their 40s and 50s, which is often a time of other major changes, like your children leaving home or your parents getting older and needing extra care.
Some medication, including some of the fairly common drugs for depression and anxiety, can impact on libido or sexual function.
You also might be concerned about aging and feeling self-conscious about the way your body is changing. If you have a partner and they are also experiencing midlife issues (like erectile dysfunction or their own perimenopause symptoms), this can add to feelings of self-consciousness. Often when you feel less attractive and have lower self-esteem, you’re less likely to want to have sex.
While hormone therapy can help with many of the psychological symptoms caused by perimenopause, mental health is a complex issue. Some lifestyle changes like exercise, meditation, and finding new hobbies can help – and so can reaching out to whānau and friends for support. But if you’re really struggling and worried about your mental health, consider making an appointment with your GP, or a mental health professional.
